Wednesday

It was Wednesday February 27th, in McAllen, TX. That was the day my husband Dan and I brought my mother to Massachusetts with us to find out what was going on in her brain. I remember sitting with her in those two bulk head seats of our first leg to Dallas before Boston. She was confused, but at ease. The song by DJDS “No Pain” was playing. I remember thinking it was ironic, because she hadn’t been in any pain. Sitting there, cold from the air conditioning blowing on her, she looked at me and said with a nervous smile “just dying”. I tried to ignore the comment, but I couldn’t.

Thursday February 28th, she had appointment at Mass General Hospital with a very accomplished neurosurgeon, Dr. Brian Nahed. He was kind, and soft spoken. He walked us through the MRI images we had provided. In the visit we had learned more than we had from the series of dumbfounded physicians in south Texas, which was “it’s in all parts of her brain, so operating isn’t feasible.” While cancer wasn’t diagnosed, it certainly was evident that was what it was.

Friday March 1st, Dr. Jorg Dietrich, also a very kind, and thoughtful physician met with my mother, husband and I. After he performed neurological tests, he then asked me to speak with him privately. In his office, he told me he thought what he was seeing was very rare, and serious. A biopsy would be needed to confirm, but, likely show this to be untreatable with radiation or chemotherapy. It was the moment I had been dreading, but was preparing to hear based upon the words from Dr. Nahed the day before. I fought back my tears, got composed to go back into the exam room with my mother to try not to alarm her of the news I had just received.

Monday March 4th we checked my mother into MGH for pre-op and Tuesday March 5th she successfully had brain biopsy by Dr. Nahed. Friday March 8th we transitioned her to rehab near our home while we were waiting for the biopsy results. Friday March 15th we received her diagnosis of Invasive Astrocytoma Grade IV. Monday March 18th, Dr. Shih at MGH confirmed that treatment courses would not improve her quality of life or reverse the effects the tumor was having on her speech, memory, and movement.

Wednesday March 20th, the day I checked her out of rehab and brought her home to live with us. Also, the day I posted to ‘our world’ on social media about what mom was facing.

And, that brings me to today, Wednesday March 27th. One month since this journey to Massachusetts started for her. The journey to get answers, and a plan.

It has been the most ‘normal’ Wednesday I’ve had so far, but it’s the new normal. I said to my husband Dan today, “I’m not feeling great, just not normal.” After a month, I think it’s starting to become my reality.